Mommy Wars: This shouldn’t be a thing

As women and as mothers, we should support one another. This goes without saying. Doesn’t it? Well apparently not. Are we just bored? Or are many of us just a bunch of judgy DBs that only feel happy when we are making others feel shitty? I really hope it’s not the latter. I do think that there is a combination of things spurring this behavior. From boredom, to social media to some people just being assholes, we’ve created a crappy society where mothers attack other mothers, and for some reason they feel justified to do so.

I really thought that a lot of this was made up social media nonsense, until through a collection of anecdotal evidence, it turns out this actually happens. In real life! To people’s faces! And of course it most definitely happens behind our backs. But some of these “wars” that pit hard-working mothers against one another, are completely laughable. Some of them must be created through social media feeling the need to feed this fire and have something to talk (read: fight) about. So let’s go over some of this nonsense:

1. Breastfeeding: This one is so long standing that maybe it’s not worth mentioning. But I will anyway. It’s just amazing to me that we are still judging the crap out of each other around this topic. It’s 2016, and we worry about the government trying to dictate what is right for us, for our bodies, but apparently it’s ok as women for us to tell each other what to do with our bodies? News flash, no it’s not.
2. How I birthed my child: This one is completely ridiculous. And one that makes me think that we are just bored or that social media gurus are sitting around trying to come up with new conflicts we can fight about. If you’re telling me that having my body cut open to deliver my children makes me less of a mom then pushing them out of my hoo-ha, then you are just a DB. Plain and simple. Hello, childbirth is hard no matter what. Don’t we know this already??
3. Getting a babysitter: Since when is getting a babysitter for your kids an issue? Do we not need time away from our precious little peanuts to maintain our sanity? When I was little my parents went out every Saturday night and look, I’m ok! Well, mostly, but I don’t think that’s related to their once a week night out. I would encourage parents to take a break. Your children will not fall apart. They will not be scarred for life. And you’ll get a chance to exhale. This seems like common sense to me.
4. Clean house versus a messy house: So this is a new one. It looks like the “argument” is this, per social media, if your house is messy then your kids are making memories and having a childhood they won’t be able to stop gushing about when they’re adults. But if your house is clean, your kids are miserable and will be in therapy as adults complaining about how unhappy they were growing up. Dumb. Times a million and a half. We are all screwing up our kids one way or another. And I guess my kids are somewhere in between happy and miserable according to this argument. Go me.
5. Sending kids to school sick: I’ve read about and heard about this one over and over. Someone thinks that if they go pick up their kid and another kid is coughing or sneezing that they are immediately sick, contagious, carrying bird flu and their parents are absolutely horrible for sending their kid to school to “infect” other children. Or, if their kid gets sick they are quick to blame some “horrible” parent. And now their perfect little sweetie pie is sick as a result. Really people? Sure, sometimes people send their kids to school when they shouldn’t. But to demonize parents, in general, when your kid gets sick makes zero sense. Kids get sick. And listen, if my kid doesn’t have a fever but has the sniffles or a little cough, then they are going to school. If every parent kept their kids home for every sniffle and cough, then these kids would be missing out on a lot of education. Do you miss work because you have a little cold? Nope. And don’t get your panties in a bunch here; I already noted that some people will indeed send their kids to school when they shouldn’t.

Why do we need to make each other feel guilty about the decisions we make for our kids? The keyword in that sentence being our.  And I’m not talking about some koombaya moment here. Just looking for some common sense to prevail in a society where it doesn’t typically seem to. You do what works for you and let me do what works for me. As long as my children are healthy and happy, you should just smile and wave. And keep your opinions to yourself. Unless of course you want to throw some praise at a mom. In that case, have at it. But let’s lift each other up. Not shit on each other. It’s not a good look.

Peace. Love. And sanity.

And solidarity. (word to the mothers)