Being a woman isn’t easy. I mean, the upkeep alone is enough
to make you want to be a man. And they don’t get it, not one bit. They roll out
of bed on a Sunday, throw on a hat and they’re ready for the day. As they look
at you and ask why you’re not ready yet. So yeah, being a woman is a bitch, so it’s
no wonder why sometimes we can act like one (not that I necessarily think being
called a bitch is a negative thing, depending on the context.) So let’s count
the ways….
1 – As I mentioned, the upkeep. I spent three hours last
weekend getting “maintenance” performed on my person. From hair to eyebrows to
nails. And I’m not a princess people. But as any woman knows, these are
necessary items that must be performed in order to not look scary to the
outside world. And ok, maybe I’m slightly obsessed with my eyebrows as of late,
but that’s a different story. You still look weird if your eyebrows appear to
have a bridge between them.
2 – Being “mom”. If you are a mom, you are probably the most
“called on” for things. No matter how close dad or other siblings are to what
they are asking for, those little buggers will seek you out so they can ask
you. Even if you’re in the bathroom. “Mom – can I have some milk?” “Sure honey,
why don’t you ask your father who is standing right next to the refrigerator?”
3 – Makeup. I know I need to wear some makeup in order to
look human. And as I get older, I realize I need to wear MORE makeup to look
human. Case in scary point: We were away last week at a water park. So naturally
one doesn’t wear makeup when they are splashing around in the water with their precious
little peanuts, or at least this woman doesn’t. And I barely slept the night
before because my toddler likes to randomly wakeup and “sleep cry”. This means
that he doesn’t know that he’s doing it but he wakes up everyone in the
process, except for my husband, who wears earplugs. In any case, we were at the
water park that day and my husband says “Look at me.” So I’m assuming he’s
going to tell me that I have something on my face or something in my teeth from
breakfast. Oh no, it’s even better. He says “It looks like you have two black
eyes.” Gasp! Did he just say that out
loud? I know what you’re thinking ladies, but I must love this man a lot
because he’s still alive. Of course I was at Ulta the next day looking for a
concealer labeled – medium beige/no sleep. Yeah, they don’t make that yet, but
they should get on it.
4 – Working out and getting weighed. So you can bust your
ass at the gym. You can literally feel like you’re sweating your ass off. You can feel like you’re getting
stronger, and you know your nutrition is on point. But if it’s “that time of
the month” and you get on a scale or some other torture device (i.e. the
scale/body composition machine at the gym) you will cry and/or throw something.
Because for a woman, working out and eating right aren’t the only factors you
have to deal with, you also have to deal with hormones. So do yourself (and
those around you) a favor and just avoid those torture machines around “that
time”. Trust me on this one.
5 – Having a baby. This one does all kinds of things to your
body. And those things are way too numerous to name in this one post. But one
thing to highlight, per my sister, is that not only do they live in you for 10
months as your body actually builds them,
but once they come out they also feel the need to take a bit of your dignity
with them. From the time of delivery to when you try to do a jumping jack or
you sneeze or you laugh too hard. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain this
one any further ladies. Oh the joys of pregnancy. But it’s such a beautiful,
natural thing. Right? Yeah, right.
I could probably go on and on about what it means to
be a woman in this world, but I digress. I thought it best to highlight some of
the major things some of us deal with in our lives at this point, as well as to
give a little peak into the future for those who have not yet joined these
ranks. But no matter what we deal with, there is no doubt at all in my mind
that while we may not be the physically stronger sex in many instances, we are
certainly the emotionally stronger ones because there is no way in hell that a
man could deal with any of the crap we get to deal with on a daily basis. So in
closing – Girls rule. Boys drool.
Peace. Love. And sanity. (my bitches)
