Strong is the new sexy: Changing the narrative

I never wanted to lift weights. I thought nope, it's a waste of time. If I want to get "skinny" I need to do cardio for 45 minutes and eat 1200 calories or less. That'll do it! Clearly that did not "do it". Not only is it incredibly boring, but when you're only eating 1200 calories you are always hungry! Or in all reality, hangry (don't ask, just google it). But this was what I was "taught". This is what girls do. Until about a year ago.

Now here I am, in the best shape of my life and only getting better. And I'm finally "getting" it. The myths that have been perpetuated as truths for most of my life have finally been broken by my own results and the results of so many others. But what will the "fitness industry" do if women stop believing their crap and stop buying their ab rockers, tread climbers, and the other shit they tout in their douche-baggy infomercials? What if women finally start listening to those people who have looked at the science, who have figured out how to shape bodies and change perceptions to provide REAL results? When you watch the Today show and you hear a woman talk about "fat loss" as opposed to "weight loss" for probably the first time ever, you smile and you realize that maybe, just maybe, the masses are finally catching on. And maybe they'll also realize that the scale is kind of evil and BMI is an asshole.

I was fortunate enough to attend a fitness workshop this weekend, given by the amazingly strong Artemis Scantalides. That was the icing on this proverbial cake (mmmm, cake). What?? I was at a fitness workshop? Who am I? Anyway, this "I am not afraid to lift" workshop, continued to blast holes through the nonsense we've been fed by the fitness industry (and in many cases our doctors) for too many years to count. And this woman is proof that strong is the new sexy. Some of the things she was able to do I could only liken to party tricks. How did she do some of these things with her body?? Well, she worked her butt off. Oh, and she is a bad ass. And she was teaching us how to be bad asses. And she was encouraging us to become the masters of our domain. And it was awesome. It was empowering. And I couldn't wait to get into the gym the next day to lift more weights. (Ok, I'm stretching the truth a teeny bit there. I was sore as hell but I still went in and got it done!)

Now I'm not putting down my marathoning friends, my endurance savages. You go ahead and get 'er done. I think it's amazing what you are able to push your mind and body to do. But that's not me. So if I can't do that, does that mean I won't be able to meet my own goals? Nope. When I walked into the gym a year ago I was amazed by what I saw some of these women doing. I wanted to be them. They were swinging, pushing, pulling, lifting, grunting, sweating and kicking some major ass. And now I am one of them. And every time I lift a heavier weight or learn a new move I feel accomplished. I feel like I am joining the ranks of the strong. And I am thankful for my trainers who have taught me that it's ok to lift heavy things, it's ok to eat actual food (and lots of it) and that it's good to build muscle! 


And I also see it in the many posts on my social media feeds. Whether it's Facebook or Instagram, seeing people at the gym, posing with their gym buddies, posting videos of their accomplishments. It's all motivation for me. I don't care what other people say, I applaud your "check-ins", your food posts, your PR details. Keep 'em coming! We are watching and we are proud of you!

 So in the land of lady beasts and loud leggings I have found inspiration. I have found a new way to approach my health. I have a found a group of people who support each other's accomplishments and who push you to take the next step to get better and to reach your goals.

So go ahead - lift like a girl. I dare you.


Peace. Love. And sanity. And strength!

“What’s for dinner?” – And other cringeworthy questions

I think I live my life in lists. I think most of us do. It seems to be the biggest part of “adulting”. Lists for work. Lists for home. Lists for the food store. Lists for chores. Lists so you don’t forget to do something because if you don’t write it down you will totally forget. If I didn’t write down the five things I needed from the food store, I would without a doubt, leave without one of those things. Now my husband, if his list has one thing on it and he doesn’t write it down, he’s simply walked into the store for no reason because he can’t remember shit. Love him though!

So in the spirit of lists, let’s continue that theme. This time around let’s list out some of the most cringeworthy questions heard from kids on a daily basis. Some of these may not affect you, but for me, they are like nails on a chalkboard. And if NONE of these resonate with you then either you’ve hit the patience jackpot, the kid jackpot, or you’re a mannequin.

1.  Are we taking a bath tonight? – So this one may sound silly, but essentially since birth my kids have not gotten baths on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Of course there are exceptions this rule, but we don’t get home until later on those days and unless they’re completely disgusting (i.e. in the summer when they are complete dirt burglars), we forego the bath. Now regardless of this fact, they continue to ask me this question EVERY Tuesday and Thursday. Seriously kids? I find that kids work best within a routine-oriented environment, but apparently this doesn’t have any effect when it comes to asking about said routines. Annoying.
2. Is this enough to eat? – If you have escaped this one, then consider yourself extremely lucky. But I think this one is the first time kids start to flex their muscles in the art of negotiation. And you, no pun intended, feed into it every time. You’re negotiating with this tiny person about how many bites, how many slices of cucumber, how many pieces of chicken they need to eat in order to satisfy the “I’ve eaten enough for dinner rule.” And in my house once you’ve satisfied that rule, you’ve “earned” your treat. How ridiculous is this? It’s completely ridiculous. And I do it anyway. Some nights I’ve had enough and end up yelling some total mom thing like, “If you ask me that one more time!!” So awful. Oh and I should probably add that while still chewing his last bite, the male child always asks, “Can I have my treat now?” Dude! Can you finish chewing first? Oh good, I finally get MY question in.
3. Is it time to go to “insert any place” yet? – See you want to tell your kids when you’re going somewhere fun, and you do it, but you also know that you shouldn’t. But you do it anyway. And then you get asked constantly, up until the minute you leave, when you’re leaving. Is it time to go to Grandpa’s yet? Is it time to go to Grandma’s yet? Is it time to go to the waterpark yet? Is it time to go to breakfast yet? And then you’re doing the 8 hour, 6 hour, 4 hour, 2 hour, 30 minute countdown. And you want to scream! But it’s your own damn fault. And you never learn. Shame on you. You did this to yourself!
4. What’s for dinner? – This one legit makes my skin crawl at times. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I so hate this question with a passion. Can’t you tell? And this happens every damn day. Without fail. Pretty much as soon as we are in the car. In some cases I’ve literally been in the car for two hours driving after having been up since 5:00 and these two can’t wait to ask me what I’m making for dinner. And I can almost guarantee they won’t like some part of it. And that’s probably why it gets to me. If they were easy, if they ate whatever I put in front of them, then I would be fine with it. But no, I have to put together, albeit a very simple meal, something I think they will eat. And really, I never know from one day to the next or from one week to the next what these little monsters are going to still be eating. For example, last week my 6 year old liked mac and cheese, but this week, as I learned last night, apparently she does not. WHO DOESN’T LIKE MAC AND CHEESE? I don’t know where she came from. 

I love my precious little peanuts, but sometimes I also want to strangle them. But I don’t. Because it’s illegal. I know kids have a repetitive nature. I know I’m going to answer these questions, and many others, over and over and over again. But it will always annoy me. I did not hit the patience jackpot. I am my father’s daughter. Ask anyone. (Love you Dad!) So while I know these things shouldn’t get to me, they will continue to, as things get to all of us. We all have different levels of nutty. Different levels of “I’ve had enough”, because we are human. We are parents. We are caregivers. We are out there fighting the good fight. Trying to raise these tiny people to be good members of society. However, this absolutely does not mean they don’t sometimes annoy the shit out of us on a daily basis. And this is why they’re cute. So at least after they make you crazy, you can look at them and smile and still have them melt a little piece of your heart. Even when they ask just one more time – “Are we there yet?”

Peace. Love. And sanity.

 

Mommy Wars: This shouldn’t be a thing

As women and as mothers, we should support one another. This goes without saying. Doesn’t it? Well apparently not. Are we just bored? Or are many of us just a bunch of judgy DBs that only feel happy when we are making others feel shitty? I really hope it’s not the latter. I do think that there is a combination of things spurring this behavior. From boredom, to social media to some people just being assholes, we’ve created a crappy society where mothers attack other mothers, and for some reason they feel justified to do so.

I really thought that a lot of this was made up social media nonsense, until through a collection of anecdotal evidence, it turns out this actually happens. In real life! To people’s faces! And of course it most definitely happens behind our backs. But some of these “wars” that pit hard-working mothers against one another, are completely laughable. Some of them must be created through social media feeling the need to feed this fire and have something to talk (read: fight) about. So let’s go over some of this nonsense:

1. Breastfeeding: This one is so long standing that maybe it’s not worth mentioning. But I will anyway. It’s just amazing to me that we are still judging the crap out of each other around this topic. It’s 2016, and we worry about the government trying to dictate what is right for us, for our bodies, but apparently it’s ok as women for us to tell each other what to do with our bodies? News flash, no it’s not.
2. How I birthed my child: This one is completely ridiculous. And one that makes me think that we are just bored or that social media gurus are sitting around trying to come up with new conflicts we can fight about. If you’re telling me that having my body cut open to deliver my children makes me less of a mom then pushing them out of my hoo-ha, then you are just a DB. Plain and simple. Hello, childbirth is hard no matter what. Don’t we know this already??
3. Getting a babysitter: Since when is getting a babysitter for your kids an issue? Do we not need time away from our precious little peanuts to maintain our sanity? When I was little my parents went out every Saturday night and look, I’m ok! Well, mostly, but I don’t think that’s related to their once a week night out. I would encourage parents to take a break. Your children will not fall apart. They will not be scarred for life. And you’ll get a chance to exhale. This seems like common sense to me.
4. Clean house versus a messy house: So this is a new one. It looks like the “argument” is this, per social media, if your house is messy then your kids are making memories and having a childhood they won’t be able to stop gushing about when they’re adults. But if your house is clean, your kids are miserable and will be in therapy as adults complaining about how unhappy they were growing up. Dumb. Times a million and a half. We are all screwing up our kids one way or another. And I guess my kids are somewhere in between happy and miserable according to this argument. Go me.
5. Sending kids to school sick: I’ve read about and heard about this one over and over. Someone thinks that if they go pick up their kid and another kid is coughing or sneezing that they are immediately sick, contagious, carrying bird flu and their parents are absolutely horrible for sending their kid to school to “infect” other children. Or, if their kid gets sick they are quick to blame some “horrible” parent. And now their perfect little sweetie pie is sick as a result. Really people? Sure, sometimes people send their kids to school when they shouldn’t. But to demonize parents, in general, when your kid gets sick makes zero sense. Kids get sick. And listen, if my kid doesn’t have a fever but has the sniffles or a little cough, then they are going to school. If every parent kept their kids home for every sniffle and cough, then these kids would be missing out on a lot of education. Do you miss work because you have a little cold? Nope. And don’t get your panties in a bunch here; I already noted that some people will indeed send their kids to school when they shouldn’t.

Why do we need to make each other feel guilty about the decisions we make for our kids? The keyword in that sentence being our.  And I’m not talking about some koombaya moment here. Just looking for some common sense to prevail in a society where it doesn’t typically seem to. You do what works for you and let me do what works for me. As long as my children are healthy and happy, you should just smile and wave. And keep your opinions to yourself. Unless of course you want to throw some praise at a mom. In that case, have at it. But let’s lift each other up. Not shit on each other. It’s not a good look.

Peace. Love. And sanity.

And solidarity. (word to the mothers)