“What’s for dinner?” – And other cringeworthy questions

I think I live my life in lists. I think most of us do. It seems to be the biggest part of “adulting”. Lists for work. Lists for home. Lists for the food store. Lists for chores. Lists so you don’t forget to do something because if you don’t write it down you will totally forget. If I didn’t write down the five things I needed from the food store, I would without a doubt, leave without one of those things. Now my husband, if his list has one thing on it and he doesn’t write it down, he’s simply walked into the store for no reason because he can’t remember shit. Love him though!

So in the spirit of lists, let’s continue that theme. This time around let’s list out some of the most cringeworthy questions heard from kids on a daily basis. Some of these may not affect you, but for me, they are like nails on a chalkboard. And if NONE of these resonate with you then either you’ve hit the patience jackpot, the kid jackpot, or you’re a mannequin.

1.  Are we taking a bath tonight? – So this one may sound silly, but essentially since birth my kids have not gotten baths on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Of course there are exceptions this rule, but we don’t get home until later on those days and unless they’re completely disgusting (i.e. in the summer when they are complete dirt burglars), we forego the bath. Now regardless of this fact, they continue to ask me this question EVERY Tuesday and Thursday. Seriously kids? I find that kids work best within a routine-oriented environment, but apparently this doesn’t have any effect when it comes to asking about said routines. Annoying.
2. Is this enough to eat? – If you have escaped this one, then consider yourself extremely lucky. But I think this one is the first time kids start to flex their muscles in the art of negotiation. And you, no pun intended, feed into it every time. You’re negotiating with this tiny person about how many bites, how many slices of cucumber, how many pieces of chicken they need to eat in order to satisfy the “I’ve eaten enough for dinner rule.” And in my house once you’ve satisfied that rule, you’ve “earned” your treat. How ridiculous is this? It’s completely ridiculous. And I do it anyway. Some nights I’ve had enough and end up yelling some total mom thing like, “If you ask me that one more time!!” So awful. Oh and I should probably add that while still chewing his last bite, the male child always asks, “Can I have my treat now?” Dude! Can you finish chewing first? Oh good, I finally get MY question in.
3. Is it time to go to “insert any place” yet? – See you want to tell your kids when you’re going somewhere fun, and you do it, but you also know that you shouldn’t. But you do it anyway. And then you get asked constantly, up until the minute you leave, when you’re leaving. Is it time to go to Grandpa’s yet? Is it time to go to Grandma’s yet? Is it time to go to the waterpark yet? Is it time to go to breakfast yet? And then you’re doing the 8 hour, 6 hour, 4 hour, 2 hour, 30 minute countdown. And you want to scream! But it’s your own damn fault. And you never learn. Shame on you. You did this to yourself!
4. What’s for dinner? – This one legit makes my skin crawl at times. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I so hate this question with a passion. Can’t you tell? And this happens every damn day. Without fail. Pretty much as soon as we are in the car. In some cases I’ve literally been in the car for two hours driving after having been up since 5:00 and these two can’t wait to ask me what I’m making for dinner. And I can almost guarantee they won’t like some part of it. And that’s probably why it gets to me. If they were easy, if they ate whatever I put in front of them, then I would be fine with it. But no, I have to put together, albeit a very simple meal, something I think they will eat. And really, I never know from one day to the next or from one week to the next what these little monsters are going to still be eating. For example, last week my 6 year old liked mac and cheese, but this week, as I learned last night, apparently she does not. WHO DOESN’T LIKE MAC AND CHEESE? I don’t know where she came from. 

I love my precious little peanuts, but sometimes I also want to strangle them. But I don’t. Because it’s illegal. I know kids have a repetitive nature. I know I’m going to answer these questions, and many others, over and over and over again. But it will always annoy me. I did not hit the patience jackpot. I am my father’s daughter. Ask anyone. (Love you Dad!) So while I know these things shouldn’t get to me, they will continue to, as things get to all of us. We all have different levels of nutty. Different levels of “I’ve had enough”, because we are human. We are parents. We are caregivers. We are out there fighting the good fight. Trying to raise these tiny people to be good members of society. However, this absolutely does not mean they don’t sometimes annoy the shit out of us on a daily basis. And this is why they’re cute. So at least after they make you crazy, you can look at them and smile and still have them melt a little piece of your heart. Even when they ask just one more time – “Are we there yet?”

Peace. Love. And sanity.