Google that shit - and other basic advice

Hello you lovely people! So the advice I'm going to give you today is going to change your life, make you a better person and increase your circle of friends. 


Ok not really, but hey it was an intriguing intro, right? This really is some basic bitch nonsense right here so if you're not doing some of these, don't tell anyone, and just start doing them. You're welcome. 

Google that shit.
Ok, this one is my jam. All. Day. Long. For work. For life. For everything. And hopefully I'm not blowing up my heroine, big sister spot right now.  My sisters and I text a lot because it's easy for us to keep in contact that way considering we work and have 7 kids between us. And they often throw a question out there and I always answer. So while they may think I know right off the bat how long to cook a two pound turkey meatloaf for, sadly, I do not. I just googled that shit. And boom! I'm a hero. Well, not anymore I suppose. So if you are not doing this, start doing it before someone points you to lmgtfy.com - and then you feel like an idiot. 

Use a weather app.  
I have no less than 3 weather apps on my phone. You do not need the news, or anyone else, to help you in this situation. This is why they make apps - to help you help yourself. Here's a wonderful anecdote on using a weather app ( one of which comes delivered with your phone!) Me and my husband, who, for the purposes of this example, we'll call Channing Tatum; so yeah, me and Channing are standing in the kitchen at 6am, neither of us has been outside yet and I've barely had a sip of coffee. Both of our phones are on the counter and he looks right at me and says, "What's the weather for today?" Ummmm, well dear, maybe you can take a look on your phone just like I would, unless there is something wrong with your fingers? And then of course I get "the look" for not being helpful. But seriously, I am privy to no more information on this weather situation than he is right? So yeah, use your weather app. It's so easy! 

Posting on mom group Facebook pages can be a dangerous venture.
You've been warned here. Some of these FB groups are brutal. I've seen arguments go on for hundreds of comments just because a mom asked what a rash might be on her kid's ass. There are so many problems with this post for the various types of moms on these pages. They are offended by the butt picture, the detailed description of said rash, the fact that other non-doctor/nurse moms are chiming in with their thoughts and then of course there are several dozen moms who throw in the ever so helpful (as if the mom is a complete idiot) "go to the doctor" comments. So tread lightly my friends, it's rough out there. 

Vaseline is good for everything.
Now I know that coconut oil is presently saving the world, and of course you can eat it as well as use it to take off your makeup, but Vaseline is amazing stuff and I put that shit on everything. Hands and feet are dry and cracked? Vaseline overnight with some gloves/socks and you're good to go. Red nose from a cold - Vaseline. Your son who is 3 and has diaper rash because he refuses to poop on the potty? Yup, Vaseline. And when your young daughter comes in to tell you that it's red and hurts "down there". You guessed it, Vaseline. It's basic and it's awesome. Use it. 

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Now this one will require some self reflection and some deep thought. For example, just because I can get 50 pounds of almonds on sale at Costco does that mean I should? Probably not. Hey, my grill is perfect for smoking 20lbs of pork for the party we are having with 16 people. Should I? Nope. Damn my body is slammin' and I can totally wear this two piece, mid-drift bearing outfit to my friend's wedding! Well good for you and your awesome bod, but do I actually even need to ask the question? The answer is definitely no. No, you shouldn't. 

So there you go. Some extremely useful advice to take with you as you move forward in your day, maybe even your life. And you know what they say about teaching a man to fish. Oh wait, you don't? Well maybe you should go and Google that shit. 

Peace. Love. And sanity. 

Thanks for visiting!

-Basically Beth